From Work to Authentic Desire
Three Steps for Using Work as a Catalyst for Authentic Living
"The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work."
~ Richard Bach
Whatever I work towards is not really what I want. It is a fabrication of what I really want. What I want may seem very tantalizing. It may lure me in many ways to appear that this is what I want, but if the act of attaining, maintaining or keeping it feels like work (aka strain and struggle), then I'm not honouring my heart's desire.
This is simply because what we authentically desire is not something we can ever work towards. Authentic desire and work are incongruent. They don't match up. Our authentic Self, also known as our soul, never works to get anything. The soul wouldn't even know what the word work means! It animates and creates from a fluid state of allowing, lightness and ease and in alignment with the orchestrating intelligence of the universe. Because we all yearn to live in alignment with our highest Self, and transcend any feelings of strain and struggle, we can recognize times of work as an opportunity to show three things:
1. What we are working at we don't authentically desire
2. What we do authentically desire
3. There is an easier way
"If you look for work, you can be sure you'll find it." ~ Lynda Austin
It is the ego that goes to work, not our soul. Because we are, for the most part, conditioned to identify with our ego, we believe that life is work and work is life. Look at our language. We say things like, "I'm going to work", or "I'm going to work on this relationship/problem", or "You need to work hard to be successful" or "Let's work on this", or "Idle hands are the work of the Devil". The word work has been ingrained in our culture. It is all we know.
A woman once told me that whenever she did her passion of carpentry, a side hobby away from her job, and she realized she needed a specific piece of wood, she would always find it immediately and with ease. She'd go to the store and there it would be staring back at her, waiting to join her latest creative project.
Carpentry was where she found herself in the flow of life. The pieces of life came to her because she was in alignment with her authentic desire. I can assure you that if it felt like work she wouldn't be finding the pieces she needs as easily and quickly, let alone doing carpentry at all. And yet we continue working at our various personal projects, whether they are our health, personal relationships, money or career.
But we can change that. We can use the awareness of work as a gateway to choosing an easier path.
Work focuses our attention on what we don't want
Authentic desire focuses our attention on what we do want
Work's primary focus is on what is external
Authentic desire's primary focus is on what is internal
Step 1: Awareness
Question: What feels like work?
Be aware, or beware, of where you are experiencing strain and struggle. This is a big step because it requires honesty and the willingness to perhaps make a new choice that in the short term feels uncomfortable, but in the long term feels fulfilling.
Step 2: Desire
Question: What do I authentically desire?
Take some time to journal your answer. As you do you will begin the process of focusing your attention on what you truly desire.
You may notice that when things feel like work, it is either because you are afraid of losing something, or you are trying hard to overcome something. I'm going to work at this relationship usually means that I'm afraid of losing something or I need to overcome ongoing difficulty. The focus is more external and on what you don't want. When you authentically desire something your attention is on where you want to express your values, listen to your intuition, honour yourself more. The focus is more internal and on what you do want. So, instead you may say, I want to feel peace in this relationship.
By doing step 2, we move from giving our power away to other people and situations, to reclaiming it within and practicing self-care. We focus on what we really want, and because what we focus on we create, we move towards positive manifestation.
Step 2.1: Play with Opposites
If you are having a hard time with Step 2, you may find it helpful to first clarify everything you don't want that feels like work.
Questions to start this process:
· What am I no longer willing to tolerate?
(Eg: Others telling me what to do)
· Where am I compromising myself?
(Eg: Saying Yes when I really mean No)
· What am I tired of having to be/do/say that feels like work?
(Eg: Being overly responsible)
· What do I think I "should" be/do/have/say that feels like work?
(Eg: I "should" be ladylike)
· What am I ready to let go of?
(Eg: Micromanaging my staff)
Then take the opposite of each statement and you will have a list of what you authentically desire.
Step 3: Action
Question: What is one action step that will move me towards what I authentically desire?
Take one small concrete step towards creating what you want. It doesn't have to be big. It could be something as small as buying some flowers or baking your yummiest cookies. Or it could be changing your exercise routine to something more fun and light like walking along your favourite pathway, versus thinking you need to workout at the gym! It could be something bigger that doesn't feel comfortable, but that you know you want to do like saying No when you usually say Yes.
Work is a function of the ego
Play is an expression of the soul
These three steps, when practiced regularly, can catalyze you away from work and towards playful living. They awaken us from identification with our conditioned ego (which Dr. Wayne Dyer says stands for Edging God Out) to identification with our soul. They move us in harmony with the orchestrating, loving intelligence that some call God and others call the Universe.
Work has been our dream, but it is not our reality. It is time to awaken from the path of working at life, to playing with Life.
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From Work to Authentic Desire
